if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

That's unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I love you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops