what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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noodles

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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