Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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The

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You.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Knock Knock Come in.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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