Carlton

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the chicken cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

does this look unsure to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops