What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops