John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops