What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What? Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your're racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops