Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Knock Knock Who's there

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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Why? Why not?

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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