There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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