if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

Potassium? K.

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

why did the boy die? because he got shot

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

911 jokes are just plane wrong

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

rarw

Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...