Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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