Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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69

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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nathan palmer has a big head !

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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