What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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balls in ya mouf

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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