Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops