What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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