There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops