Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops