Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Previous Next SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *ME EVER PRESENT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! AND NOW! AND NOW! AND YOU MY POINT... YOU BETTER! I MEAN MAYBE I HAVE NOT BEEN CLEAR ENOUGH HERE, BUT THIS COMMENT SHALL HAVE A GREEN THUMB UP FROM THE CHOSEN ONLY, MEEEEEE!*

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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