Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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