I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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ur gey

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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