What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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