What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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why does the man appear fat he is

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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