What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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justin beiber sucks

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops