Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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your face

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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