Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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