How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Punch line.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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knock knock go away

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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