A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

62

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

thumb_up thumb_down +49

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

thumb_up thumb_down +35

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

thumb_up thumb_down +35

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops