what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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CHEEZECAKE

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Who's better than badboy? The holocaust.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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