your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Knock Knock.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops