Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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