Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Tall asians

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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What's the difference between a duck?

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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