What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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my wife out of the kitchen

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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