Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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i dont fisish anythi

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops