Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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