Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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