what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Massie is a fatass

A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

whats hairy and crys your mom

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

a dyslexic man walked his god.

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...