What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Flowers are colors Love me

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Knock Knock.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops