A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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