Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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