- Anti Joke

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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