What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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apple pie.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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CHEEZECAKE

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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