A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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I love you very much.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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BIG PENIS

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops