Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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