Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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I'm hungry.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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