What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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