What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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one of the idiot

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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