There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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