- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops