So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops