- Anti Joke

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

Science Teacher goes into his class Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

RUN

Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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