A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Whats 1+1? window!

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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